PARENT ROADMAP / AGES 8 TO 17

What to set up at each age.

Parents think in ages, not platforms. Here is what usually shows up at each stage, what to set up, what to talk about, and the age rules the platforms use.

8–10

First devices, shared screens

Most kids this age use a tablet, a console, or a family device, not their own phone. Set things up on the devices they share, keep screens in shared spaces, and start the habit of talking about what they see.

WHAT USUALLY SHOWS UP

Games with chat and friends lists, like Roblox and Fortnite
YouTube and YouTube Kids
A tablet or console, often shared with siblings

KNOW THE AGE RULES

YouTube Kids has settings for ages 4 and under, 5–8, and 9–12. A supervised YouTube account is for children under 13.
On Apple devices, Ask to Buy and Ask to Browse are on by default for children under 13.
Meta does not allow accounts for children under 10.

SET UP

Set up a child’s iPhone or iPad Set up Google Family Link Set up an Amazon Fire tablet for a child Set up YouTube for kids and teens Lock down Roblox Lock down Nintendo Switch Secure your home Wi-Fi

TALK ABOUT

11–12

The phone question

Middle school is when the first-phone pressure starts. Many local families wait on smartphones and social media until at least high school. Whatever you decide, start with the real need, choose the simplest device that meets it, and write the plan down.

WHAT USUALLY SHOWS UP

Requests for a first phone or smartwatch
Group chats with classmates
Online games with voice chat
VR headsets as gifts

KNOW THE AGE RULES

Instagram, TikTok, and Snapchat all require users to be at least 13.
Steam’s terms set the minimum age for an account at 13.
Meta Quest parent-managed accounts are for ages 10 to 12, and a parent approves apps and contacts.
Sony says PlayStation VR and PS VR2 are not for children under 12.

SET UP

Set up an Apple Watch for a child Set up a child’s iPhone or iPad Set up Google Family Link Lock down Xbox Lock down PlayStation Set up a Meta Quest for a child Secure your home Wi-Fi

TALK ABOUT

13–15

Social apps and supervision

Thirteen unlocks social apps and teen accounts. Protections are strongest for teens under 16, and most supervision tools only work if your teen agrees, so this is when the relationship matters most.

WHAT USUALLY SHOWS UP

Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, and Discord
Pressure to share photos or move to private chats
Algorithm feeds and comparison
Schoolwork with AI tools

KNOW THE AGE RULES

TikTok: under 16, direct messages are unavailable, comments stay friends-only, and posts are not shown in the For You feed.
Instagram: teens under 16 need a parent’s approval to loosen Teen Account settings.
Snapchat Family Center covers ages 13 to 17. Instagram and Snapchat supervision only start when your teen accepts.
Xbox applies Teen defaults for ages 13 to 17 in the US.

SET UP

Set up Instagram supervision Set up TikTok Family Pairing Set up Snapchat Family Center Set up Discord Family Center Set up YouTube for kids and teens Lock down Xbox Lock down PlayStation Set up Steam Families

TALK ABOUT

16–17

More independence, same backup

Older teens control more of their own settings, and some supervision loosens or ends. Shift from controls to coaching. Agree on the few things that still matter, like sleep, money, and asking for help when something goes wrong.

WHAT USUALLY SHOWS UP

Driving, jobs, and later nights
Their own money, cards, and in-game purchases
Sports betting ads and apps
Accounts they will keep into adulthood

KNOW THE AGE RULES

TikTok direct messages open at 16. Through Family Pairing, you can still decide who can message a 16- or 17-year-old.
Instagram: with supervision, 16- and 17-year-olds still need your approval to loosen settings.
Sports betting and paid fantasy contests are 21+ in Massachusetts.
Instagram and Snapchat supervision end at 18.

SET UP

Set up a child’s iPhone or iPad Set up Google Family Link Set up TikTok Family Pairing Set up Instagram supervision Secure your home Wi-Fi

TALK ABOUT

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